Hi, my name is Karolainy Sandes, I’m Brazilian, I’m 25 years old and I’m pregnant. Being a mother was never in my plans, but I got pregnant in 2022, which was a shock to me.
I never had contact with babies or children, because I never liked that world. Baby showers, coming out showers and visiting newborn babies’ homes have never appealed to me. Based on all my history of rejecting motherhood, it was only to be expected my despair when I learned that I was now part of my worst nightmare.
Going through the whole process of acceptance and development of motherhood away from my family and only with the support of my husband and a few friends was not easy. The days dragged on, the crying was constant and the feeling of death was evident. I cried in mourning the old me that I knew was dying, while generating a new life in my womb and a new mother in my soul.
At the end of my pregnancy at 37 weeks, I became certain of the saying “a baby is born, a mother is born”. These 9 months of pregnancy were necessary for me to accept and gradually change my concepts, my attitudes and behavior towards pregnancy and the baby.
Two big milestones in pregnancy are when you find out you’re pregnant and when you have your baby. I overcame that first big milestone and now I’m about to live the second. Childbirth, changing diapers, breastfeeding, bathing, etc. are things I’ve never done. I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff where I jump off it and I’m happy about it.
